Don't You Ever Get Lonely?

Still obsessed and listening to Lydia. :D
I don't really know. I'm lame and just an angstface. Today wasn't that bad, but I don't really know what to compare it to. I don't know. It wasn't bad. Especially not compared to last night, last night was bad. I don't know why. It just kinda was. I wrote a poem, and it's terrible. Maybe later if I feel like it I'll post it, but it's kind of embarrassing how cheesy and bad it is.

I saw this postcard on PostSecret, and it got me thinking...

It kind of applies to me, only I'm worse- I'm not even ambitious enough to dream. What do I want for the future? All I know is, not this. I don't want my parents, well really just not my dad, to be much of a part of my life. I want to be happy. I want to be with people I love, only I don't know where they're going to be. I want to make enough money to live off at a job I enjoy. The problem is, what job? I guess I'm creative, but I'm not good enough at art or anything of the sort to just be an artist. I'm not musically talented and I can't write. Sports or anything physical is completely out of the question. The problem is, I really don't want to just sit in an office and talk to people on the phone or crunch numbers or sell things. But everyone says they don't want an office job, but I'm not awesome enough to go out there and get what I want, and someone has to do the boring office jobs; what if it's me?

And then there's college. I know I'm only a freshman, but some people say I shouldn't be worrying about college, but everyone already knows what they want to do and where they want to go, and I have no idea what's going on in my life beyond, like, tomorrow. Not that anything ever really goes on in my life. Nothing. It's painfully boring but what is there to do when you're not good at anything and you're so socially awkward that it almost disables you? But anyway. College. That means going away [the good part] and making new friends all over again. I've moved seven times. I don't want to make any more friends. I want to keep the ones I have. But we all have different interests and stuff and it's not like we'll all go to the same college. It terrifies me though.

I want to get out of this situation, this time, but at the same time I don't want to face what's ahead.
I don't want time to stop because then I'll be stuck here.
I don't want to go forward because I'm terrified of what's to come.
Can't someone just tell me if everything's going to be okay?